All's Fair In Filk And War

by D.J. McGuire

supported by

Priscus (hiding from cyberstalking) thumbnail

	/

Streaming + Download

Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

Purchasable with gift card

$10 USD or more
Full Digital Discography

8

releases

Get all 8 D.J. McGuire releases available on Bandcamp and save 20%.

Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Soylent Brownshirts, Goldsmiths' Gambit, McConnell-McCarthy, All's Fair In Filk And War, Starfleet Program Manager, Janaury 6, 2021, You're Not Cleared For This, and Impeachment Carols. , and , .

Purchasable with gift card

$47.98 USD or more (20% OFF)

1.	Go On a D!ck 02:19	lyrics	buy track
Please go on a dick, you unwelcome invaders We don’t want you seizing our freedom from us And if you think your leader cares anything for you The truth will hurt more when you’re under the bus If we must die, we will do it for our friends You’ll do it for a crazy man And all his circle of cold, greedy thieves We serve the yellow and the blue Know history is watching you Go on a dick if you won’t leave You know your people don’t want you to be here They’re marching for peace in your hometowns and streets They don’t want you to die and we don’t have to kill you Surrender to us and get something to eat We’ll treat you well if you lay down all your guns Don’t make yourselves the evil ones So far away from all you’ve ever known No reason that we can’t be friends Still, If you shoot we’ll say again Go on a dick 'til you sink far from home
2.	Has Anybody Seen My Tank? 02:25	lyrics	buy track
Russian T72, I'm in its crew No idea where it got to Has anybody seen my tank? Went off-road, next thing I know The damn thing just gets tractor-towed Has anybody seen my tank? (Chorus) My armored vehicle is gone Where did it go I can't be stayin' here in Ukraine How could I be so far from home Woe, woe, woe It has a Z; it's big to me It compensates deficiencies Has anybody seen my tank? The map is aged; I tore a page The road sings all point to the Hague. Has anybody seen my tank? (Chorus) "Charge ahead!" The general said But then a sniper shot him dead Has anybody seen my tank? I'm in poor health; I can't go stealth The locals scream "Go fuck yourself!" Has anybody seen my tank? (Chorus) It has a Z; and now I see The enemy's pointing it at me I guess I finally found my tank! I surrender! Has anybody seen my tank?
3.	On The Hunt 07:12	lyrics	buy track
The engines roar and the air grows thick The moment of truth comes near The en'mies tanks on the street roll down The call of war comes in clear. (Chorus) So now we go on the hunt When the forces are closest to touch With our NLAWS, we keep all our foes at bay Thwarting them until they slink away And we'll send them on their way By ground-to-ground and air-to air We face our invaders again We kill no more Russians than we must Defending our family and friends. (Chorus) The tyrant leading the Russian land Has set his sights on Ukraine And now his minions are on the march Erasing our homes and our name. (Chorus) For our people stuck behind The Russian military lines The terror comes fast And the pain comes down Fear grows in every heart around For heartless forces abound We must curse thee with the knowledge Of the suffering from enemies' sins The bodies seen are only part, my friend Of the Russians' bloodthirsty whims. They had no hon'rable hunt And for their actions justice will come If we must, we will bring an end to their lives Until our land's finally freed from strife The hunt goes on day and night The winds of war blow across the land But know we still stand and defend. Someday in a future time, this place Will see peace and freedom again. 'Til then we go on the hunt When the forces are closest to touch With our NLAWS, we keep all our foes at bay Thwarting them until they slink away And we'll send them on their way Now we return to the hunt For all Ukraine, we will hunt Until vict'ry is ours, we will hunt
4.	натуральный 20 03:35	lyrics	buy track
I am surrounded by a cabinet of fools I dressed them down on TV live A bunch of tractors; they are pulling all my tanks I need new luck if I will survive (Chorus) Natural 20 I can win battles. I can put my trucks in Kyiv With bad tires; and get to that damn Zelenskyy Natural 20 I say they're Nazis, and I make you all believe Natural 20 is all I need. When Twitter opened up on me and unleashed Hell I was left feeling plenty pissed I tried to bomb them all; it didn't work so well My troops must fight; they'd better not miss! (Chorus) After the battle was lost; I had some generals fired And I redid my plans so my troops would invade from the east My troops ran so fast from Kyiv that they couldn’t hide all their crimes So the murders and raping and theft showed them all to be beasts (Spoken) But really, I’m going to try attacking from the east this time. Anyone have a problem with that? No? What do you mean our reputation is smashed and the troops are exhausted! Go find an open window! What happens if he doesn't roll 20? All the sides are 20. Where did you find a D20 like that? Shhhh! It's only a D6; we can't afford d20s after the ruble crashed! I roll! Da! Natural 20 I am a genius; I can change reality, Wipe out failure, and turn defeat to victory Natural 20 Russians are grateful; none will try to murder me Natural 20 is all I need. (Chorus)
5.	Mariupol 05:16	lyrics	buy track
Remnants of buildings, and rupturing foundations The homes and hearths are gone, just rubble, ruins, and degradation The art school in the Left Bank hit, where hundreds came to hide We still don't know how many lived, or know how many died The port misses the trading ships, dropping off their cargo. It longs for commerce and for peace, but either it may never know The families were shipped as far away as Moscow could To please the crazy Kremlin man who wants them gone for good (Chorus) Locals trapped in the cursed town, With foes' munitions raining down They still resist the Kremlin's might, the city razed, yet it still fights While warning sirens pierce the calm of night Bombs and missiles streak the sky Condemning those too close to die Civilians hide; defenders fight Against the cruel invaders' might While warning sirens pierce the calm of night Any street or block around lies the story of this broken town Told in crumbled concrete on deserted, bloodied ground Professing loss and pain of war, fury, death, and fear Providing but an echo of the tragic stories here "Ukraine is not even a state." Thus claimed Mr. Putin, attempting to dictate The future of those close to him; no need to hear the thoughts from them And so all of those living here, confront a choice that's hard but clear Though Russia's vice grips on this place, resistance perseveres (Chorus) This destructive conflagration, this attemped subjugation Challenges the spirits yet defenders find their strength within Vlad won't break them...he'll never win (Chorus) While warning sirens pierce the calm of night While warning sirens pierce the calm of night
6.	Cold Muddy Brown 01:29	lyrics	buy track
Rasputitsa, that's what sticks ya Cold Muddy Brown Crappy wheels sink iron and steel in Cold Muddy Brown Go off-road and you'll get towed in Cold Muddy Brown Your vehicle's down Your plan was not sound General's screaming, mad, and steaming We'll shoot him down Nothing moves so it behooves you Turn back around Kyiv won't want you coming forth It's best if you just head back north Leave Ukraine and no more pain in Cold Muddy Brown Rasputitsa, that's what sticks ya Cold Muddy Brown Crappy wheels sink iron and steel in Cold Muddy Brown Go off-road and you'll get towed in Cold Muddy Brown Your vehicle's down Your plan was not sound Armored truck and tank gets stuck in Cold Muddy Brown MREs as old as Jesus Can't keep 'em down Kharkiv is a fearsome beast Why don't you just go back east Leave our home and no more drones in Cold Muddy Brown
7.	Ukraine The People 01:54	lyrics	buy track
Ukraine, the people to the war have gone In the Twitter feeds you will find them The farmers' tractors have been girded on To the en'mies vehicles behind them. While you laugh with this humble bard Let not the world refuse to see One people fight as thy rights they guard One faithful nation does defend thee. They did not fall to the Russians' chains Moscow will not make them knuckle under The Kremlin man is sure to try again But he'll merely add to his own blunders. For never conquered will Ukraine be The people stand for all to see Their song of resistance to tyranny Will not end until they sing in victory.
8.	Bucha's Lament 04:31	lyrics	buy track
In the cold, hard light of north Kyiv Oblast Littered on the roads that we drive There are bodies and blood of what were peaceful people They never left Bucha alive Well their Granddad's Dad was a victim of Stalin One of millions starved for tyrant's pride Now we see them slain here in history's sequel They never left Bucha alive The Kremlin's beast; he needed a conflict And these people here paid the price They were felled by hatred from Vladimir's minion's And they never left Bucha alive When the sun comes up, on all the victims Your heart sinks down, as you see more and more Of the blood and carnage, 'til you're crying and swearing But now you know what it is we're fighting for On the side of a road was a small group of women Their corpses had been set alight There were raped; they were killed; for a Russian man's pleasure And they never left Bucha alive Those who are still here, we have gone through the gauntlet And there's only one way to survive We will dig the graves of the future invaders They'll never leave Bucha alive When the sun comes up, on all the victims Your heart sinks down, as you see more and more Of the blood and carnage, 'til you're crying and swearing But now you know what it is we're fighting for In the cold, hard light of north Kyiv Oblast Littered on the roads that we drive There are bodies and blood of what were peaceful people They never left Bucha alive
9.	Stealing a Tank 03:22	lyrics	buy track
I've been sitting here in the field My tractor and myself Wonderin' what the Russians plan for me I've been called a neo-Nazi And a coward born to flee But I reject it all 'Cause I just want to be free (Chorus) So I'm stealing a tank, to remind The cruel invaders who I am Stealing a tank, just to show What we can do. I'm just driving this old tractor With the enemy's wheels in tow So they won't terrorize my home anymore Well, when I'm out workin' my farm They just ignore me Shootin' ordnance into the nearest town But when they try to take it off-road They find themselves bogged down And so they run for help Leavin' machines in the brown (Chorus) It's gone on for so many years So few had noticed it at all So Moscow went for the kill Thinkin' we would fall But from Kyiv to Odessa We [stand strong and tall Ukrainians one and all (Chorus) So they won't terrorize my home anymore
10.	Fields of Sunflowered Corpses 04:18	lyrics	buy track
Russian troops invade my homeland The tanks and the missiles are all around I can hear the roar of engines Unless they're stuck in the muddy brown Air sirens make my mind go blank They're all so loud; they warn of doom I can't trust my Russian family They doubt me as they hear the boom I sit still inside the shelter I listen to the outside world They make my town feel like a blank space Except for the rubble and weapons they've hurled Little Russia's the name they give us Do we respect them? Not that much. I search for my friends to see who made it And who was taken by death's touch I reach for family, friends, and loved ones I long to take them so far away But then we hear the air raid warning And so back in the shelter we stay Through it all I feel the anger And one clear vision comes to me The enemy as fertilizer For miles around and all I see Fields of Sunflowered Corpses Fields of Sunflowered Corpses Their leader is called Vladimir Putin He orders them to crimes at war They thought they'd overrun our country But we made sure they didn't go far Broken trucks and tanks with tractors We bring their war machines to our side If they surrender, we will help them But otherwise, we make sure they die Fields of Sunflowered Corpses Fields of Sunflowered Corpses Ukraine fights Ukraine resists Forever Ukraine fights Ukraine resists Forever I do not understand What led them to attack our land I can face the planes and bombs 'Cause I know our people are making a stand They can't save us all but they'll save many We'll give everything to win this fight We struggle but we strive for vict'ry With the vision that gets us through darkest night Fields of Sunflowered Corpses Fields of Sunflowered Corpses Fields of Sunflowered Corpses
11.	It Will Work This Time 02:07	lyrics	buy track
It started out in Luhansk, Crimea and Donetsk I want it all, the whole damn land From Kharkiv to Odessa (Chorus) It will work this time! Ukraine will be mine! With tanks and bombs and little green men They must submit or die! I sent in my new troops I thought they'd win, but whoops! Ukrainians fought, with bravery and smarts And knocked me for a loop (Chorus) I shifted to the bombs But we have crappy coms The tanks won't move; the planes get shot And troops want to go home (Chorus) The world knows I'm a beast So now the troops go east Just one more push, and I will win Or I'll pretend at least (Chorus) They must submit or die!
12.	Wayward Western Leaders 03:57	lyrics	buy track
Wayward western leaders just noticed the war Stay and help us win so we need fight no more. Our Ukrainian forces fight against the foe. Eight years long these battles, how could you not know? (Chorus) Wayward western leaders just noticed the war Stay and help us win so we need fight no more When the fight reached Kyiv you thought we would flee But we hold our ground and fight to victory Kremlin minions quiver facing all Ukraine Allies, lift your holds on vehicles and planes (Chorus) As the beaten army, Russia now moves east Allies, we are fighting to expel the beast We are not divided, though bloodied and cleaved One in hope that you stand fast, so please don't leave! (Chorus) Onward with us, Allies! Join our great campaign Blend with ours your weapons freeing all Ukraine Glory, laud, and honor, is all you will hear Unless you turn back then, we will die for years. (Chorus)

about

Using my filk skills, such as they are, to express my support for the resilience of the Ukrainian people.

Half of all proceeds from the album (including singles purchases) will be donated to the Leleka Foundation, a US-based non-profit organization that raises charitable funds and implements medical and social support projects in Ukraine.