Get all 8 D.J. McGuire releases available on Bandcamp and save 20%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Soylent Brownshirts, Goldsmiths' Gambit, McConnell-McCarthy, All's Fair In Filk And War, Starfleet Program Manager, Janaury 6, 2021, You're Not Cleared For This, and Impeachment Carols.
1. |
Song of the Mountain
02:04
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The dwarves, they came from Khazad-dûm
Burned and forced from home
They found me on their travels and
Here they ceased to roam
The Lonely Mountain I was called
Now that was no more
For now I had a tribe to host
They named me Erebor
{Chorus}
So welcome all the guests and
Friends of the king
Come let him warmly greet you
And Hear the Mountain sing
My riches made them wealthy and
Known through Middle Earth
The treasures that they found would grow
In volume and in worth
The travelers came from far and wide
To marvel and to trade
While underneath the Arkenstone
Kings and princes reigned
{Chorus}
The decades passed and soon the dwarves
Chose to go away
But soon enough they found themselves
Tired of Mountains Grey
So back they came and did rebuild
Under rule of Thror
I've once again a tribe to host
They call me Erebor
{Chorus}
Prosperity continues now
Under Thror who reins
But some have said there's something wrong
And that he's not the same
A sickness has come over him
Addiction to the gold
But time will pass and so will this
He'll be the king of old
So welcome all the guests and
Friends of the king
Sadly, he now greets no one
But Hear the Mountain sing
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2. |
Addiction to Gold
02:09
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{Chorus}
Addiction to gold has struck the dwarven king
And so comes this dirge, that I am forced to sing
I give up my jewels, my minerals, and my gold
But no wealth can warm the heart that has gone cold
I've seen dwarf kings come and go
So much history only I know
Subjects digging into my veins
Finding treasure while madness reigns
{Chorus}
Time will turn on good and bad
Illnesses go from have to been had
Until then there's little to do
But remember when he reigned true
{Chorus}
Thror is clouded by this need
So I disgorge my riches to feed
I know he is not the first
And there are creatures who would be worse
{Chorus}
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3. |
The Goldsmiths' Gambit
02:41
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As goldsmiths, we do well and good
Offering services just as we should
Storage, loans, and bills of exchange
Bring prosperity and helpful change
{Chorus}
Money is our primary trade
For which we are justly paid
Elves and men and dwarves, they come
Seeking financial aid
Troubling tales from Erebor
Sickness of gold has stricken Thror
Gold addiction, it can be cruel
Not even salved by the Arkenstone Jewel
{Chorus}
Time will pass and Thror will be well
Then his stash gets unleashed like hell
Prices rise while profits fall
Bringing down ruin upon us all
{Chorus}
Who has greater lust for that gold
Dragons, Yes! That's from tales of old
They should still have lairs in the north
Our problem's solved if one can be brought forth
{Chorus}
Thus our gambit now is a plan
Summon a dragon as soon as we can
Let him seize the Erebor wealth
Before the dwarven king regains his health
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4. |
Time For an Adventure
02:46
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{Chorus}
It's time for adventure
If you choose to go
Your share in this venture
Is sure and will grow
Deliver a message
A drake needs to hear
Be earnest, be forceful,
And don't be too near
Some courage up there
Brings you fortune down here
You in our employ
This day can bring joy
For one of you willing and set to deploy
To lands far and strange
To prevent a change
In gold stocks; succeed and your future's arranged
{Chorus}
We deal with the lords
They pay for the swords
With funds we can give him if we reach accord
But a mountain of gold
Could stop us all cold
And unleash inflation and wars uncontrolled
{Chorus}
If you choose to go
You prob'ly should know
The dragons have longed for gold since long ago
And that's what we need
Their singular greed
Is why we have high hopes that you will succeed
{Chorus}
So this is our plan
Bring dragon in hand
To keep us in wealth and keep peace in our lands
With what we've contrived
You're certain to thrive
And prosper so long as you come back alive
{Chorus}
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5. |
The Adventure Begins
02:01
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Happy am I. The adventure begins!
If I succeed, what a fortune I'll win!
Beren they call me, a good Gondor name
Soon I'll have honor and riches and fame
I was a common boy, heir to no fields
Helping my father with numbers and yields
'Til I was told an apprenticeship called
Soon I was off to the goldsmith's good hall
Toiled, have I hard for my master these days
Then we were told of a quest far away
I was the first to say "I volunteer!"
There was no second, but what should I fear?
Now I am traveling, a dragon I seek
Secret my mission so I will not leak
I do not fear what the dragon could do
I will be brave with my heart strong and true
Happy am I. The adventures begins!
If I succeed, what a fortune I'll win!
Beren they call me, a good Gondor name
Soon I'll have honor and riches and fame
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6. |
The Adventure Sucks
02:01
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Happy was I when adventures began
Now I'm just walking as far as I can
Miles have I traveled to find me a drake
Miles more to go and I must stay awake
When I began I took shelter in inns
Had me some drink and what some would call sin
Now I have squandered too much of my gold
Nights are with firewood or bitter cold
I spend no coin save for what I can eat
Thus I have holes in the shoes on my feet
Pain which each step, yet I still travel north
Too far from home, I can only go forth
Farther I go and the colder it gets
Days are spent shiv'ring with growing regret
I had been warned of a fiery death
Now I might welcome a flaming warm breath
Happy was I when adventures began
Now I'm just walking as far as I can
Miles have I traveled to find me a drake
Miles more to go and I must stay awake
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7. |
Who Disturbs My Slumber?
03:47
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{Chorus}
Who disturbs my slumber?
Who disturbs my sleep?
Who would be so foolish as to
Enter in my keep?
For now my eyes are open
The fool is in my sights
I'd best like what he says or he
Won't see another night
I have been left to myself all these years
I heard the tales of the dwarves who were here
They sought these mountains for min'rals and for gold
Burned out by dragons of old
{Chorus}
I always knew there'd be fools who'd return
Their lust for riches outweighs all concern
Where are the hundreds to stand against my breath?
I see just one facing death
{Chorus}
My scales are armor like ten thousand shields
My teeth are swords, slicing those who won't yield
Who is this trav'ler who seeks the deadly beast?
I'll hear him out, then I'll feast!
{Chorus}
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8. |
The Message
02:22
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{Chorus}
He is here; I am here at the journey's end
And I'll never have to go so far from home again
I have traveled wide; I have risked my hide
Now I see the adventure is done
And now all that remains is the note I contain
And a dragon to outrun
I reach in my coat; for the goldsmiths' quote
Tis' the message I promised to give
In exchange for this, I'll have riches and bliss
For as long as I will live
{Chorus}
He awakens now; sweat is on my brow
It's a sign of the dragon's breath
I have entered his sights, and my face is alight
Through I risk a fiery death
As I bow my head, I can feel the dread
But I live as I reach for the note
I'm a curious thing to the wyrm with the wings
As I read the goldsmiths' quote
{Chorus}
"Greetings to you sir, from this messenger
"I read now from the goldsmiths' quill
"There's a pile of gold, it would warm your soul
"In the Lonely Erebor hill
"It's no lie or grift; for I bring a gift"
"That will please both your tongue and your eye"
"It's a mark of our truth; it is brimming with youth"
"And that gift is none but I"
Wait -- What?!!
He sees me; and I see I have met my end
And I'll never ever make it back to home again
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9. |
They Call Me the Monster
03:54
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So they call me the monster today
And I'm likely to do what they say
But who'll inquire why I came with fire
On this mountain on this partic'lar day
I was peacefully laying in my keep
When a messenger ended my sleep
No challenge brought but an favor sought
And a telling of hidden treasure deep
Now I fly to the mountain to see
If the trav'ler was truthful to me
The gold I smell and it's just as well
For there were few a tasty man as he
His employers will hear no reproach
Though they asked me this treasure to poach
Still Erebor has the gold of Thror
So the mountain I lustily approach
Now an arrow has punctured my scales
So I must add more death to this tale
I'll fire the town, burn it to the ground
Leaving corpses and firestorm and wails
Now at last Erebor's in my sights
I hear dwarves plead for aid in their plight
But none reply as upon them come I
Neither elves nor men have the will to fight
So they'll call me the monster today
But it won't phase me in any way
Here with my gold, I will ne'er be cold
Let survivors be glad they got away
Let them call me the monster today
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10. |
The Town That Burned
03:39
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{Chorus}
We were once Dale, the town that burned
The day the dragon appeared
We were once Dale, the town that mourned
Now naught but ruin here
Morning came so beautiful
Nary a cloud in the sky
Traders and farmers, fishers, too
Sun and hopes were high
Little did we know doom would come
Flying in that very blue
But soon did we see the dragon Smaug
Knowing what he'd do
{Chorus}
As the beast came near our town
To our defenses we went
Warriors, bowman, horsemen, too
We would stay unbent
The arrows were shot and swords employed
Fighting for kingdom and town
But none of it stayed the dragon Smaug
Burning all to ground
{Chorus}
Now he sleeps in Erebor
Or eating maidens he finds
Fleeing now we must to live
Leaving Dale behind
The sickness of gold felled their King
Yet we knew Thror would soon mend
But news somehow reached the dragon Smaug
Thus our fiery end
{Chorus}
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11. |
Great News
02:15
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Great news comes today in a glorious way
Erebor's gold is off the board
A dragon came forth from the peaks of the north
Now the beast sits upon the horde
Stability and hostility
To inflation and war
This age will see as our legacy
Along with just rewards
Our gambit was true, a success through and through
Went as perfectly as we'd hoped
No gold will come down to our various towns
Its demand stays within our scope
That journeyman may have met his end
A small price for such fame
With tear in eye, raise a glass on high
To noble What’s-His-Name
Don't think us as cold, you must see that the gold
Would be less of a boon than a curse
For gold without goods doesn't do what it should
It just makes prices high'r and worse
It pays for swords serving foolish lords
Unleashing death and pain
What's that you say? Like the burned that day
Now, who are you again?
Great news comes today in a glorious way
Erebor's gold is off the board
A dragon came forth from the peaks of the north
Now the beast sits upon the horde
Stability and hostility
To inflation and war
This age will see as our legacy
Along with just rewards
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12. |
The Mountain Mourns
02:06
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The dwarves have gone, chased from their home
Scattered far and wide
Replaced by beast so gold-obsessed
He hoards it all inside
The Lonely Mountain I was called
Its truth I must confirm
How much I miss my dwarven friends
And dread this ancient wyrm
{Chorus}
So if you ever find a
Friend of the king
Please let him know the Mountain
Still sadly sings
My riches are for no one who
Could use them good and well
The dragon keeps them for himself
And stays under its spell
It's that dwarven kings would fall
In such a sickly way
But they would all recover
While the dragon's illness stays
{Chorus}
Will decades pass with no one here
But this angry drake?
I cannot move but I don't know
Just how much I can take
The days and dark; the nights are bleak
Under rule of Smaug
The happy tunes I sang are gone
It's only dirges now
{Chorus}
The tragedy continues now
With every passing day
Whoever tries to fight my host
Is burned or scared away
The Lonely Mountain I was called
In the days gone by
The painful name's returned again
At least now I know why
{Chorus}
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D.J. McGuire Suffolk, Virginia
My love of sci-fi/fantasy and my experience as a federal contractor take my muse to interesting places.
