EPMH

from You're Not Cleared For This by D.J. McGuire

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lyrics

Well the program was in trouble, that’s for certain
Any further delays and it would have been curtains
To make matter worse, we were burnin’ through budget
And we’d run out of creative manners to fudge it
So I told the sponsor in my next communication
“Time to break the glass; bring the EPMH in”

Emergency Program Management Hologram
He materialized with the air of command
In his gold uniform with four neck pips
He used all the higher skills of management
Got the schedule sorted and the cost cut down
And the stakeholders felt like they were on the ninth cloud

The team had been stuck in the phase of stormin’
But the EPMH, he soon got them performin’
He maneuvered deftly, getting people on task
And he always kept his eye on the critical path
In no time at all, it brought heart to the team
To hear: “Please state the nature of the management emergency”

So the next time your program goes off the rails
Just use the technology that never fails
Agile or Waterfall, he’ll set it right
Trust your projects to the safety of photons and light
When you need a miracle for your program
Call th’Emergency Program Management Hologram

“Please state the nature of the management emergency”
“Yes there’s a problem. Your task is not on file.”
“I’m a program manager, not a doctor.”

credits

from You're Not Cleared For This, released July 24, 2020
Instruments and vocals by DJ McGuire

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about

D.J. McGuire Suffolk, Virginia

My love of sci-fi/fantasy and my experience as a federal contractor take my muse to interesting places.

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