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Drunk As My Spellchecker

from You're Not Cleared For This by D.J. McGuire

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lyrics

It all got started with a text, and now I curse my lot.
My thumbs typed “need you for a sec.” That’s not what my boss got.
Now I’m unemployed and I've been drinking here all day
I’m drunk as my spellchecker, and I’m sure I'll stay that way

I knew years ago the spellchecker had a mind of its own.
I tried to type "Grrrr" but instead it was "Ferrets” sent on my phone.
I was laughing too hard then to give it a rebuke
Now I’m drunk as my spellchecker; I wonder if it puked.

You could call this part the bridge if you like….
My spellchecker wonders when the refrigerator turned white

Now I have to tell my partner that I need a ride.
I break out my phone to type and swallow all my pride.
Now my dearest wonders why I’m swelling and lying prone
I’m drunk as my spellchecker and I’m never getting Rome?
I’m drunk as my spellchecker and I’m never getting hemp?
I’m drunk as my spellchecker… and I’m never getting… Hermione?!?!?!
Oh the hell with it!

credits

from You're Not Cleared For This, released July 24, 2020
Instruments and vocals by DJ McGuire

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

D.J. McGuire Suffolk, Virginia

My love of sci-fi/fantasy and my experience as a federal contractor take my muse to interesting places.

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